What is this really about?

Couldn't sleep cause my head was racing.
Nice to have a blog to write stuff in them. :)

So basically I'm thinking about my own motivations here.
No wonder having made 28 videos about the enneagram in a very short space of time.
Now the quality and entertainment value of it all is pretty low.
But you know what, that is out of my control.
It really is, I can't turn into a charismatic guy overnight.
And I shouldn't try to either.

What I should try to do is make small improvement here and there.
Fix the obvious things like me spacing out thinking about what to say or how to word things.
That should be easily fixed by some video editing software and just a tiny bit planning.

I can live with the fact that I'm not delivering some amped up super product right of the bat.
Cause guess what.
This is still about me!

Sure I know I'm such a narcisistic bastard for even making this about myself.
But hey I'm no Fe type caring about the damn common value object.
I'm an ISFP, I find too much polish to be manipulative.
I don't find the idea of faking it to please people appealing at all.
So I will work on making things better, but only at a pace that feels natural.
Or else I know that my Fi will bail over feeling fake and my 9ness will
bail over too much pressure to perform at a burnout level.

And having come of to such a good start in my opinon, it would suck to
ruin my mood over something so silly as quality and viewer approval. :p

That is sort of more like a bonus for me, if someone likes it that is.
The object holds no charm after having been produced as we can be quite detatched from the
product/object.

An object, is an object, is an object. ;)